Cynicism or Pragmatism?

Reading about the institutional history of the formation of English departments and evolution of Theory as a discipline has been eye-opening. I'm learning that departmental and disciplinary politics are essentially built into the structure of higher education, and therefore unavoidable. It seems political considerations influence even the "purest" of pure research, and (more importantly) inform the crucial question of whether or not I'll be able to get a job at the end of all this.

At the risk of seeming to disregard Dr. Christie's advice that we approach the political aspect as a "game" of sorts, I feel some introspection is in order. So to address one of the big questions of this class, how does this dawning awareness of political disciplinarity influence my ethos as a writer? How does it change the way I address my audience? It's kind of a blow to my youthful, idealistic ego to realize that one's ideas can only get you so far.

Bruce Robbins asks, "How cynical should we be about the disciplinary motives of the knowledge makers?" (98). How cynical, indeed? I'm actually asking, because I have no idea, and Robbins doesn't help me very much. To be fair, I feel like I'm looking for a one-word answer, which I realize is impossible. But it is the very unanswerability of this question that is the cause of my anxiety. (Again with the therapy.)

What are the consequences of this for my writing? On top of writing a really mind-blowing paper, I have to worry about the political implications of my theoretical orientation. I have to acquaint myself with the biases not just of entire departments or editorial boards, but of individuals who are in a position to Yay or Nay my very scholarly existence. I have to anticipate years from now defending a body of work that may or may not clash with the ideals of the group holding that ever elusive pot of job-security-gold. If I'm honest, I'd be willing to do whatever it takes to get there. I'm sort of a closet whore of the intellectual kind. Light side, dark side... doesn't matter to me, as long as I'm on the winning team.

This is all very unsettling.